Opinion: Why I couldn’t be friends with a Trump supporter
I can respectfully coexist and work with people across the full political spectrum. However, the willingness to overlook Trump’s offensive words and actions conflicts so fundamentally with my values that it’s a deal-breaker for my close friendships.
What’s the difference between racism and pizza toppings? One is a major dealbreaker, and the other isn’t. In such a politically polarized nation, it’s easy to see why people are urging everyone to come together and love their neighbors regardless of political opinions. However, when basic human rights are at stake, it’s not that simple.
I’m sure many of you can relate when I say that my Instagram and Twitter feeds are flooded with passionate messages from all parts of the political spectrum. But even in this seemingly endless sea of information and opinions, the following statements caught my attention:
“Yeah b*tch, [we can disagree] about pizza toppings, not racism.”
“If you voted for Trump, I want nothing to do with you.”
These quotes might seem a bit aggressive. Divisive? Extreme, maybe? Still, what I find far more offensive are the lackluster attempts at peace and unity posted by other social media users: “After the elections are over, your neighbors will still be your neighbors.” “Vote for whomever, but always choose kindness.” Or, my personal favorite, “Trump won’t be there to ring up your groceries; your neighbors will. Biden won’t be there to fix your car or help you out with yard work; your neighbors will.”
I understand where these messages are coming from, but unfortunately, it’s not that simple. The internet discourse surrounding the recent presidential election is about more than a few harmless disagreements. It’s about more than politics. It’s about humanity.
So here comes the controversial statement: Because I believe that this is an issue of morality and basic human rights far more than it is an issue of politics, I could not be friends with a Trump supporter.
Whether that statement made you want to cheer or angrily smash your keyboard in the comments section, I think the rest of this article is still worth a read.
The Intent
It’s no secret that America’s political climate is extremely polarized, so much so that it often delays or prevents real progress from being made in our country. I’ve seen firsthand how ugly the comments can get on political social media posts, and I see where people are coming from when they post idealistic statements urging Americans to come together and love one another regardless of differences in opinion or party affiliation.
Let’s look at the numbers. According to a 2019 Pew Research Center study, 64 percent of Republicans said they saw Democrats as more close-minded than other Americans, and 75 percent of Democrats said the same about Republicans. Between December 2016 and September 2019, the percentages of major political party members who gave members of the opposing party a “cold” rating on a “feeling thermometer” scale increased steadily — from 58 to 83 percent among Republicans and from 56 to 79 percent among Democrats.
So, on the most basic level, I understand and support the desire for a more unified nation. I would love it if this idealistic, harmonious country were a realistic possibility in the future, but I don’t see it happening today.
It’s Not Really About Politics
It’s really not.
Here’s where I think it’s important to make the distinction between Republicans (or conservatives) and Trump supporters. To me, they’re not interchangeable terms. The establishment of groups like Republican Voters Against Trump, Republicans for Joe Biden and The Lincoln Project illustrates the opposition to Trump’s actions and policies even by Americans who had previously aligned themselves with the GOP.
Republicans tend to favor lower tax rates, increased military spending and free market capitalism, generally supporting “small government” over “big government.” While I disagree with some of these ideas, they’re not deal-breakers for me in a relationship; in fact, I have several friends and extended family members who align with more conservative beliefs. But, for me, Trump supporters are a different story.
If you voted (or would have voted) for Trump, you voted for sexism and misogyny. You chose to promote a man who has called women “horseface,” “dogs,” “Miss Piggy” and “Miss Housekeeping” and who has been recorded saying things like, “I just start kissing them” and, “Grab ’em by the p*ssy. You can do anything.” You stand behind a man who has been accused by 26 women of various instances of sexual assault since the 1970s.
If you voted for Trump, you voted for racism. You chose to promote a man who publicly thanked a group of his supporters chanting “white power” and used the racial epithet “thugs” to describe people protesting peacefully against police brutality. You stand behind a man who, on live national television, refused to explicitly condemn white supremacy.
If you voted for Trump, you voted for discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community. You chose to promote a man who barred transgender troops and military recruits from openly serving in the military, who denied U.S. embassies permission to fly pride flags on their flagpoles and whose administration withdrew Title IX protections for transgender students.
If you voted for Trump, you did not “choose kindness” like those overly simplistic social media posts urge us to. You chose to promote sexism, misogyny, racism and discrimination, or you at least decided that they’re not deal-breakers to you. To me, they most definitely are.
In the end, it’s not really about Trump either. Sexist, racist, homophobic and transphobic people did not begin with the Trump administration, and they will not end with the Trump administration. In many cases, having a leader who so openly aligns with these characteristics has simply brought these people out of the woodwork and empowered them to share their hurtful beliefs with the world. Regardless of Trump’s existence, I wouldn’t want to build friendships with people that hold these beliefs, and I can’t in good conscience stand by a social media infographic that asks me to overlook these deal-breakers when so many millions of people’s basic human rights are at stake.
A Series of Concessions
I know that this article will inevitably stir up some controversy, so I’ve come prepared.
First of all, I can understand why the current president’s successes may make him an appealing candidate. Some of his accomplishments while in office, such as the First Step Act and the Right to Try Act, have gained bipartisan support and deserve positive recognition. However, a few effective policies should be the bare minimum expectation for our nation’s leader and certainly don’t outweigh the damage he’s inflicted on so many through his complete disregard for human rights and safety.
Secondly, there’s no doubt in my mind that I could be friends with a former Trump supporter. Just because someone used to align with certain beliefs doesn’t mean that they always will. (One of my favorite TED Talks, by Megan Phelps-Rogers, is fantastic proof of this statement.) I believe strongly in the power of humans to learn, grow and change, and I would be doing myself a disservice if I refused to befriend people with whom I used to disagree.
Regardless of what I think about current Trump supporters, I still strive to empathize as best I can. Voting disinformation is rampant, and our country has largely failed in educating its citizens about the government in general; according to law professor Ilya Somin, only about 34 percent of Americans can correctly name the three branches of government. I understand that many Americans find it difficult and confusing to make decisions when voting, especially if they have been surrounded by members of a particular political party for the majority of their life. I am privileged and grateful to have parents who engage in political discussions with me and encourage me to form my own opinions through independent research and consideration; I encourage others to do the same if possible.
And most importantly, while I don’t respect the beliefs of Trump supporters, I definitely don’t hate them. I’m willing to work and have conversations with Trump supporters, and I of course still believe that everyone is entitled to the basic rights of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” I hope that we can build a nation in which the general sentiment of those “love your neighbor” social media posts rings true, in which everyone’s lives are valued, in which everyone is guaranteed basic human rights and in which everyone can encourage others and raise their children to be loving, empathetic, equity-seeking members of society. But Trump and his supporters aren’t working toward that vision.
A Quick Note on Pizza Toppings
Just so we’re clear, I enjoy the occasional slice of pineapple on my pizza, and it’s not a deal-breaker for me if you disagree with me on that.
I’m Almost Done
Whether or not you agree with me, I appreciate you having read this article. I hope you’ve learned something, evaluated your own beliefs or thought about your personal values in some way, shape or form over the course of these past 1,405 words.
Let’s circle back to those first two quotes.
“Yeah b*tch, [we can disagree] about pizza toppings, not racism.”
“If you voted for Trump, I want nothing to do with you.”
Do I think these types of posts help to dismantle political polarization and increase unity in our country? Definitely not. Still, I think it’s just as, if not more, dangerous to push the narrative that, regardless of vastly different views on fundamental human rights, everyone can and should be friends.
In order to build that ideal nation of love, empathy and equity I think we all desire, it is crucial that we hold one another accountable for our opinions, rather than turn a blind eye to prevalent issues like racism, sexism and homophobia for the sake of a few friendships. So please, do your own comprehensive research, gain an understanding of your personal opinions and set boundaries that feel right for you.
And who knows? Maybe someday, those idealistic Instagram posts will come true, and Biden will come help me mow the lawn.
Monday, November 23: The Talon added a secondary headline to clarify the nuance presented in this article.
Theresa Shaw | Mar 22, 2023 at 6:23 am
My husband and I had a close friendship with my girlfriend of 45 years and her husband. We went on many vacations together and while I knew the only TV show she watched was FOX news, as long as she honored my wish to not discuss politics, we would be okay, as we had many other interests that we both enjoyed. She stopped staying quiet about politics though and started purporting her southern husbands racist beliefs. I pointed out an error she made about a black personality killing a white child, and she said she could no longer be friends with me and blocked me. At first, I was dumbfounded! How can someone destroy a friendship with someone who was like a sister, over politics? My husband is a liberal Republican (although he may be changing his Republican registration soon), and I am a conservative Democrat. For years we joked about our differences and cancelling each others votes, but the difference is, my husband could not get behind Trump, racism, promotion of violence and demeaning women. I finally realized that I was glad my 45 year friendship with a Trumpster, ended. I still have friends who voted for Trump and I am sure at least 2 of my 4 kids did as well, and for this reason, we choose not to discuss politics or post on social media, our political differences. I love my kids, I’m probably not going to change their mind, when their spouse and in-laws are aligned with Trump. As far as my relationships with friends goes, it has nothing much to do with being a Republican or Democrat but as you said, has everything to do with supporting an unintelligent, racist, sexist, inhumane and violent loving individual.
Hector | Feb 22, 2023 at 11:36 am
I think liars and hypocrites are against Trump.
Anyone that voted against Trump should be sent to a mental institution. As a matter of a fact.
The cult against Trump has been proven as a bunch of occult followers of Secret Societies like the Skull and Bones , Pro the murder of Babies as abortion , immoral individuals , etc , etc.
Take a look at their hypocrite ways.
The border is unsecured and that Bast–d goes to Warsaw to start a nuclear war with Russia.
Do you think that the Russians are going to allow what is happening now without launching nukes?
AbsollemSingsTheBlues | Dec 9, 2022 at 9:02 am
Everyone that voted for Trump should be shunned by society. Those people’s heads are stuck so far up their own butt that they will NEVER have any shred of accountability nor any degree of approachability. The resting snarl face they carry prevents discourse and discussion. Their complete lack of intelligence creates a reality where there is nothing to be done to help them, because they willingly choose to be lead over the edge of cliffs. If you are well educated, or choose to care about other people, this leaves you with two choices: Go over the cliff with them, or stand back and watch and wave goodbye as they do so.
Laura Travison | Nov 29, 2022 at 8:07 am
Cool I feel the same I cannot be true friends with YOU who murder babies, support Bidens direct attack on those who won’t comply with an EXPERIMENTAL vaccine that has harmful and deadly side effects, support taking away basic human rights, defending the very politicians who STEALS all our hard earned money funneling it back to themselves while 1 in 7 children go hungry, who participates in human and child sex trafficking. I hate both political parties and ALL it’s HYPOCRISY – Yes YOU are a hypocrite. And for the record many of YOU LIBERALS attacked me personally for voting for Trump, which I believe still was waaaay better than Clinton, that doesn’t mean I agree with his approach but to me lesser of two evils. My husband was threatened to be fired for being unvax’d, we were banned from traveling, I was attacked at a grocery store and refused service for not wearing a mask though I explained I am disabled and have COPD and cannot breathe but y’all didn’t care about me AT ALL! Just yourselves! In fact, y’all wanted to deny me and my family of unvax’d food, work, basic rights for no reason because y’all are too stupid to understand real science and understand you’ve been played for a fool! I SEE YOU! YOU IGNORE HUMAN TRAFFICKING, CHILD TRAFFICKING by supporting Clinton or BIDEN but YET to condemn others – WOW no surprise there. Keep being a HYPOCRITICAL HATER as I DEFINITELY do not want to be friends with you or any of y’all because you attack people and treat others like dirt when they don’t get on board with your propaganda because you’ve been mind controlled and don’t even realize it. Just like the Nazis! Both political parties are evil – most all politicians evil – most corporations evil – most all government is evil – BUT keep standing on your perch acting like you are righteous and better than – it’s serving us well all this hate. What a joke!!! So glad you don’t want to be my friend – THE FEELING IS COMPLETELY MUTUAL.
GFayNY | Jul 26, 2022 at 5:35 pm
I’m faced with the same question that confronted Ms. Eisenberg. Searching for an answer, I came across Ms. Eisenberg’s very impressive opinion piece. It should be obvious to everyone that Trump not only supports destructive policies, but that he is a criminal who has intentionally inflicted harm on countless people and on our nation. It’s hard to let go of a friend, but when that person’s values and judgment are so warped as to lead him or her to support such an odious person as Trump, then it’s time to say goodbye.
Lois Henkin | Jun 9, 2022 at 8:55 pm
I completely agree with you. I find it very hard to be a friend to a Trumpster or a Republican that puts blinders on. I really don’t respect them for feeling the way they do. Also, their inability to research people that are evil, and live with cult like misinformation. Why would I want to be their friend?
Catherine | Feb 28, 2022 at 1:47 pm
Being someone with two disabilities, that put me on SSDI some years ago, and against what I wanted for my life, I think about howI learned that a friend I’ve had for over 25 years, turned out to be a Republican.
She assured me she was not a Trump supporter (and maybe she really believes that,) but kept saying what good he did on a couple of matters and blamed “Antifa” for everything going on in Portland, called Joe Biden a pedophile, and said Bill Gates was trying to take over the world – and then didn’t bother to get vaccinated and continued to run around without a mask in public.
Every time I said something or sent her something, she would refute it in a sarcastic manner. We don’t talk about politics anymore and have not in a long time, but the problem is, I can barely talk to her anymore about anything. She has finally quit reaching out and I feel a sense of impending loss. I’m not putting in the effort anymore and I feel guilty.
But then I think back on the time she stole a couple of cannabis brownies from me that I needed for my chronic pain, when I invited her up to my father’s cabin when I went to visit family in MT. I had already given her some edibles as part of a birthday gift. but she had to go and try and pilfer a couple more when I went out to my car. I found them under a napkin and took them back, making her feel really uncomfortable. Then later, I noticed she had helped herself to my good ice cooler blocks that I needed to keep some things cold for my drive back to CO.
She thought they were my parents, most likely, and figured they woulnd’t miss them as there were a number of them there. But she had to go and take my GOOD ones, not the crappy ones. And, she didn’t ask.
She never answered when I asked if she had taken them but tried to make some excuse for the brownies without admitting she was trying to take them and hoped I didn’t notice.
Last time I went to her house, I discovered her husand had trophy hunted a black bear and the skin was on the wall. I always knew her husband was an educated redneck and she was outdoorsy, but I came to the realizatin that I could have slapped two MAGA hats on each of them and it would have made sense.
Anyway, I’m having a hard tim letting go and holding on. I think back to these petty thefts that I thought I had gotten past and put it down as no big deal after a while. But honestly, by now I have it characterized as “typical selfish Republican who doesn’t care if she takes something from someone on disability who doesn’t have a lot of money and who she never drives down to visit, anyway.” It’s always me going up there.
And mostly, she votes against my interests as a disabled person and this country’s and I’m just sick of dealing with this fact. And I disrespect her lack of intelligence. I think I thought she was more like me and would be a Trump hater. I thought her husband has more eduation than all that. But now it makes total sense. MT is mostly Republican.
Lois Henkin | Jun 9, 2022 at 9:07 pm
Get rid of her. She is no friend.
I find I can’t completely trust any of these misinformed Republicans. I have a Republican friend that is in complete denial, and tells me that he doesn’t want to know or talk about politics. He just wants to remain uninformed. I will be getting rid of him. He may be nice, but I can’t depend on him for supportive conversations about politics. I am very worried about our country. It runs on misinformation and capitalism.
David | Dec 17, 2022 at 5:06 pm
Let her go. Toxic. Stupid. Dangerous. Two friends (that I see with any regularity) are Christian rump supporters. When we’re together we don’t talk about it and have a great time, but I can’t get it out of my head when we’re not together. We’re still friends for now, but I’m always waiting to lose my sh*t with them. I figure there will come a time when I won’t be able to ignore it; won’t be able to pretend it’s ok. Don’t speak to both sisters anymore. That’s fine. They’re much older, and we have nothing in common anyway. Longing for the day when we never hear his voice again. Best regards from Indiana!
Brigitte David | Nov 3, 2021 at 1:33 pm
We are in a constitutional crisis. You think you got a tribe to pick from now…just wait. And yes, people like being in a tribe with like minded folks (convinces us we are right)…very unAmerican really. History has already demonstrated what the stoking of fear will do to a population. Denying human rights, blind patriotism, disparaging the free press…mankind has been down this road before. This little experiment we got going on called democracy, well, things aren’t looking too good (sorry forefathers, we definitely blew it). We saw this on 01.06.2021. The grandstanding and circus acts that most politicians engage in only serves to divide us. It is really rather gross if you think about it…politicians proudly displaying Narcissistic traits to gain attention and notoriety. How exciting for them to get their utube clicks! This is really scary stuff to me. So I ask, shall we continue the name calling and keep picking away at each other? The politicians who are grandstanding are certainly betting that we will…the whole point of their monstrous behavior is to divide us. What we should be doing is holding Washington accountable…and being on the side of Trump or Biden or Dr. Seuss does not help us. Oh the human condition…but we should all be on our countries constitutional side. We should be holding our elected officials hands to the fire when they are decisive and crazy…name calling, pointing fingers, ya know, the stuff your elementary school teacher made you miss recess over. Taking opportunities to make disparaging remarks about the future of another party or politician…it is like a crazy pep rally. AND PEOPLE LOVE IT…the nastier politicians are, the more we love them (gross) It is like trying to articulate that there is a difference between conservative or liberal talk show hosts…they are characters making money … nothing personal, but their job is to draw in an audience. They are getting paid to do their “mantra”…just like a comedian …it is their job to do that nonsense (its all about the clicks, ratings and money). …just like CNN and Fox. IT IS ABOUT MONEY and the person with the most money wins. Like my grandmother used to say, “you got a brain, use it”. The next charismatic leader, probably a religious facist, is coming your way. So hang onto your constitution…cause we sure as heck aren’t now. PS I liked the article…standing in the middle of a constitutional crisis is scary…and we are all trying to figure out how to navigate this frightening time in our history and with each other. Americans have certainly done horrific things to each other in the past…and we are very quick to forget and even quicker to deny the truth. Good luck fellow Americans.
Ron Bell | Jun 2, 2021 at 7:14 am
I agree with the Author, The previous comments have me shaking my head Trump did say what the Author mention and much more. Trump supporters know exactly why they still support the treasonous bastard.
Lisa | Jun 1, 2021 at 7:56 pm
I think the question about who you vote for becomes black and white depending on who you are. For people who are not in marginalized categories, they have the luxury of focusing on a few choice issues. Being a black person in America with Trump as president you feel an unyielding presence and rise of hate and hate acceptance. For all the good people that voted for Trump, hate speak is not a deal breaker. For us, that’s hard to be friends with. It feels like good people standing by while evil does its thing and then says… well Im still a good person… be friends with me.
Jacque | May 22, 2021 at 1:24 am
I let go of some friends after the insurrection who support the violence snd killing of officers.and also claim there christains.And follow a man who does not represent or believe in the bible.anf they made him into a idol.
Xander | Nov 24, 2020 at 10:21 pm
Usually this divisiveness between people comes from the media being dishonest to the point where people have no idea/desire to know what the other side actually thinks. No, democrats are not communists that want to send you to the gulag and republicans not racist fascists. Both sides have the same vision for a better America, they just disagree on how to get it. Characterizing Trump supporters as you have is extremely divisive and literally kills any hope of productive discussion with them. How can one throw countless ad hominems at a group and then expect them to just be okay with it. We all feel frustrated with the other side of the aisle sometimes and something I would recommend is to pick a conservative outlet and watch a few minutes of their videos or read one of their articles, you don’t have to like it or agree but I think it would help you to understand where conservatives are actually coming from.
Trump is an imperfect vessel for a generally popular message. Someone who’s been in the public eye as long as he has is bound to have dirt on him. The qualities I look for in a politician are good policy and someone who will tell it like it is. I don’t agree with the concept of voting for some silver tongue politician with fancy rhetoric who will just end up switching their stance whichever which way the wind blows. As they say “Actions speak louder than words” and as far as I’m concerned Trump seems to have done just that.
Politics isn’t that important to most Americans and its pretty silly to let it get in the way of more important things like friendships.
Donna Bragg | Nov 16, 2022 at 4:01 pm
You make good points, but it’s too much work to try to be friends with a Trump supporter. They are too far gone. No amount of patience can offset the dangerous misinformation, their arrogance, their support of angry mean spirited policies aimed squarely against most of us, mainly women and children of all ages and races. If a potential friend cannot see this for what it is, just move on and let them experience the consequences of their choice to support this would be despot in the form of losing relationships with the good people who are fighting with all their might to do right in these times.
Ryan | Nov 21, 2020 at 2:57 pm
I’d ask the author: do you condemn yourself and people who live in the US for paying taxes to a country that once supported slavery, and as the Talon put it, is “systemically racist”? Do you refuse to be friends with people who like the Harry Potter series despite the author making transphobic comments? Will you quit your position at the Talon for having a 75/25 male to female gender ratio? The answer to these questions are likely all no; you probably live in the US not because of its history of slavery and racism, you live in the US because it provides the opportunity for you to pursue your ambitions. You probably don’t actively question your friends who like Harry Potter because they like the series, not the author’s beliefs. You won’t quit your position at the Talon because you enjoy journalism.
The reason I point all these examples out is because you are essentially claiming that 47% of people living in America are somehow racist, or supporting racism, because they support Trump. However, just like all the other examples, a large majority of people don’t support Trump because of his personality, they support him because of his policies. George explained this well in his comment above.
Posting an article like this is questionable; I’m sure there are people out there who would like to voice their opinions through a guest write, but they’ll be probably be classified as “racist,” “transphobic,” etc. as this article suggests.
Carol | Oct 24, 2022 at 11:18 am
I hate to burst your bubble, but Trump’s policies … and everything else he says, are all lies and bullshit. He doesn’t care one bit about you or the United States of America. It is ALL about HIM.
Joey | Nov 20, 2020 at 11:24 pm
How to create more political polarization: stop being friends rather than try and change their mind. This seems like a lackluster way to justify ones hatred towards someone due to their ignorance. With that being said maybe state that this is an opinion piece.
allie | Nov 20, 2020 at 11:07 pm
I actually really recommend reading the comment above, it was extremely well written and serves to debunk a lot of the authors false claims. I would also like to point out that this election wasn’t ideal for anyone. Most people, including republicans had to settle for a candidate that they disagreed with on several levels. The difference is what they value more in a president, and what direction they want to see the country going in. And that, in my opinion, is not something worth losing friendships over. Some want free healthcare, some want it privatized. For some, Joe Biden was a means to a more leftist end, for others, it was a return to centrist ideals. However I would disagree with the idea that Biden supporters unconditionally have the moral high ground. The author fails to acknowledge the numerous sexual assault allegations against him, the racist and homophobic comments (AND track record, for ex his crime bill ) that he has. Saying that he’s changed since then only serves to prove the point that Biden is just trying to reverse mistakes that he created himself.
All this goes to say, is that both candidates were quite obviously flawed. I don’t see what good it would do to block out of your life the lived experiences and ideals of nearly half of the country. From my point of view, if they are a good person and a good friend, that’s all that matters.
bob | Nov 20, 2020 at 8:17 pm
yes
hi | Nov 20, 2020 at 6:49 pm
ok
Gee | Sep 27, 2022 at 10:59 am
Elana, never back down. Character, behavior and morality matter. Now, they are banning books in my state, and human trafficking immigrates to troll liberals. Don’t believe for a minute that they don’t want to band everyone that is not a christo-fascist, because that’s coming if we don’t fight back. Believe the trumpist when they show you who they are. Semper fidelis. We are ready
George | Nov 20, 2020 at 4:01 pm
I would be friends with someone who would not be friends with a Trump supporter.
I admire these authors’ honesty and the strength of their convictions. I admire that they have written and stood by an article that has received so much negative attention. I admire the political engagement this article demonstrates. But I seriously question these authors’ conclusions, their research, and their democratic spirit.
I think the most important thing this article fails to address is that there does exist a substantial middle ground between Never-Trump Republicans and Die-Hard fans. It is possible to laud Trump’s tax cuts and immigration policy while also criticizing him for being an ass. It is possible to dislike his personality and the way he talks while supporting the Wall. It is possible to support Trump–maybe even vote for him over Biden or Hilary–and not be a bigot.
I question weather the article’s authors would apply the same dichotomous analysis to Lutherans (Luther being a notorious anti-Semite), to Communists (given Communism’s history), to fans of George Washington.
And though the article concludes with an admonition to “comprehensive research,” I question the validity of this article’s attacks on Trump (which seem mostly regurgitated from the media avalanche that’s dominated the past four years). From the top-down there are problems: the article alleges sexism and misogyny, citing statements about women. But the authors seem to forget the incredible abuse Trump hurled at the other (male) democratic nominees at 2016. Trump is an asshole, not a misogynist. The article alleges sexual misconduct, but fails to recognize that allegations are not convictions. It lobs the trite accusation that he refused to call out white-supremacists, when just watching the full clip [1] they reference shows that he does, and in fact he does consistently. The article claims evidence of transphobia, but the evidence does not support the claim [2]. And I honestly do not care if the US embassies put out pride flags.
I question what these authors hope to accomplish by excluding these people from their friendship. On the one hand this exclusion seems designed as a punitive measure, a way to “hold one another accountable” for our (wrong) opinions. What the article seems to suggest is that if you align too closely with the wrong political candidate, you don’t GET to be friends with this articles’ authors.
Or, and more likely, what the authors mean is that support for Trump indicates a willingness to compromise with (what they see as) bigotry, and that we should not make friends with those thus willing to compromise. This idea ignores the great work done by Daryl Davis (who’s ted talk is one of MY favorites), ignores the power of conversation, and is fundamentally undemocratic. I question if the authors are simply looking for a way to justify not having to humanize those with whom they disagree.
It’s frustrating and surprising to see Leftists make generalizations about people based on their group identity. It’s frustrating to be thought of as a bigot when in reality I’m just a conservative. Though I suppose it’s much easier to just assign people with an adjective which makes them haram, it is not particularly humanistic. We should always be willing to make human connections (not what this article condescends to: conversations) even with those with whom we disagree.
And so I would be friends with someone who would not be friends with a Trump supporter.
[1] At the debates: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-q-drlJg1U
The famous “good people on both sides:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmaZR8E12bs (“Neo-Nazis and Whte Nationalist should be condemned totally”)
[2] I urge all those interested in the military transgender ban to read the full memo: https://media.defense.gov/2018/Mar/23/2001894037/-1/-1/0/MILITARY-SERVICE-BY-TRANSGENDER-INDIVIDUALS.PDF
Bear in mind that the military already prohibits those who have had genital surgery, or are hermaphrodites, or are on hormone therapies from serving; this policy represents a realignment with existing standards, not an attack.
As to the title IX changes, what this article fails to mention is that the Trump administration made title XI carry the force of law and required schools to hold trials for allegations of abuse. I personally do not support the changes regarding gender: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/what-the-trump-administrations-title-ix-changes-mean-for-survivors-and-the-accused