This Side of Lunadise: This Is (Not) Halloween

I love Halloween. There’s just something magical about the spirit of it. I know most people like it because of the candy but it’s my favorite holiday because of how it turns the ordinary into something extraordinary.

The terribly boring beige and white of neighborhoods turn into the mysterious black and orange. The supernatural can suddenly be found in people’s front lawns; cobwebs and tombstones become the must-have accessory of the season.

I have always loved seeing all the different Halloween specials and movies on TV and I have to admit that I squeal a little bit when I see the decorations and costumes go up in stores and houses. But this year is different. This year it feels like my last chance to partake in a coveted childhood tradition: trick-or-treating.

I know I’m too old for it but it doesn’t feel like it. I don’t feel like I’m past the stage in my life when I can’t go trick or treating without looking silly and going into the truly scary realities that I can’t hide from in a costume and candy craze. Can’t I hold on to the remnants of my childhood a little longer without everyone judging?

To be honest, I shouldn’t be able to go trick-or-treating this year either but if there was ever a time, a final curtain call, this would be it. It might still be lame to be a junior who goes trick-or-treating but at least it’s better than being a senior who goes trick-or-treating. At that point, even I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking strangers for candy.

Yet I’m going to be bitter about having to miss my last chance to go trick or treating forever. I can’t even tell you the pain I suffer when we drive past Halloween City and its aisles and aisles of costumes ranging from zombie cheerleaders to crayons. The envy I have when I see kids picking out their costumes is simply unexplainable.

It’s horrible no longer being able to walk through the streets at night and see the cobwebs on trees and the dim glow from jack-o-lanterns. I can’t even use my little brother as an excuse to haunt the streets because he is a betrayer to childkind and doesn’t like Halloween.

The bottom line is, I have unresolved Halloween issues. On multiple occasions, I was denied trick or treating when it was actually socially acceptable to do it and now I just want one last hurrah before I must retire my witch’s hat.

Is that too much to ask for?