Welcome back to The Winner Is…! I wanted to review salad places for this issue. But somehow I ended up in the Crumbl Cookies parking lot.
Since I was already there, I asked Talon senior writer Annabelle Lee and staff writer Dayne Piscione to help me rank cookies instead. Along with Crumbl, we also tried cookies from Little Sky Bakery and Panera Bread.
At each location, we ordered a chocolate chip cookie — our baseline — and a special flavor. Features editor Shannon Chiang and New Media Lit editor-in-chief Camille Wurtz also offered their two cents, despite not being official taste testers. I’m sure it was because they thought I was cool. Not because I was holding free cookies.
Crumbl Cookies, Mountain View
Crumbl’s chocolate chip cookie renders me speechless. It’s a showstopping, doughy cookie with huge chocolate chips sticking out of its golden brown exterior.
“Dare I say it’s a little too big?” Annabelle asked.
No need to body-shame the cookie, Annabelle.
Thankfully, she came to her senses when she tasted it. By that point, we were all in agreement: Crumbl had mastered the art of a moderately-sweet treat that’s the perfect balance of firm and moist.
But could Crumbl keep it up with their second cookie, the Pink Sugar Cookie?
Not at all.
“It’s very sweet,” Dayne said. “Extremely aggressive flavor.”
I like to think I have a sweet tooth. You should’ve seen my pure joy when I learned I’d get a grade for eating six cookies in one sitting. But if I’d had a second bite of that cookie, I probably would’ve required immediate medical attention.
Its sickly-sweet, almond-flavored buttercream is so heavy — it suffocates the fragile sugar cookie below it! The cookie itself was so flimsy that it… “Crumbl-ed” the second we looked at it! I’ll give you a second.
Little Sky Bakery, Los Altos
If Annabelle didn’t like how big Crumbl’s cookies were, there was no hope for Little Sky’s chocolate chip cookie: a jumbo creation with giant dark chocolate chips scattered all over. If twenty bears split one before hibernation, they’d still wake up full.
“Guys, I think it’s really great!” I said, ready for everyone to agree.
“I think they forgot to put sugar in it,” Dayne said.
“My mouth is dying,” Camille said.
Clearly, haters were present.
To be fair, I knew I’d love this cookie because I grew up eating 92% dark chocolate which — if you haven’t tried it — is similar to biting into a piece of cardboard. Still, it’s healthier than milk chocolate, so you can eat as much as you want!
Our second cookie, an oatmeal raisin cookie, raised some red flags with Annabelle.
“I don’t like anything in this cookie,” Annabelle said. “But I’m going to try it for the love of the game.”
The lengths my fans will go to impress me.
After eating it, she still didn’t like it. Dayne didn’t either. However, it’s important to note that neither of them like oats, or even think raisins belong in cookies. So this might be a them problem.
I thought it was pretty tasty: moist and not super sweet, with well-distributed raisins and the classic, homey oatmeal taste!
Shannon put it best: “Oatmeal on top.”
Panera Bread, Mountain View
“Stale?” Dayne asked as I struggled to break apart Panera’s chocolate chip cookie.
After tasting it, we decided it wasn’t stale — just more brittle than our other contenders. I usually prefer thick, chewy cookies, but that doesn’t mean everyone else does. Panera’s thinner, crispy-edged chocolate chip cookie could be exactly what someone’s looking for!
Not Shannon, though.
“It’s very dense,” she said. “I don’t love this one.”
I actually didn’t find it too dense, and appreciated its mix of milk and semi-sweet chocolate chips. Not to mention, it was over two dollars cheaper than the other places’ cookies!
Finally, we reached our last flavor: the Candy Cookie. Chock-full of dully colored M&M-like candies that bled onto its underbaked dough, this yellow cookie looked… incredibly unappetizing.
Dayne, however, ascended at the mere sight of it. She took the responsibility of passionately defending her self-proclaimed favorite cookie to its haters — which was basically everyone else at the table.
“It’s giving salmonella,” Annabelle said.
“No, it’s giving cake,” Dayne said.
Apparently Dayne likes overly sweet, artificial-tasting cakes.
Sometimes people are so blinded by love that they can’t see the severely underbaked cookie staring back at them. Still, I’ll pass along Dayne’s message that it’s usually baked all the way through. But even if the cookie was squirming on the plate, she’d probably shrug and take a bite anyway.
Final thoughts
We laughed, we got stomach aches, we endured Dayne’s side eye over her controversial cookie opinions and now… we have rankings!
- Crumbl Cookies — Their Pink Sugar Cookie? Nightmare fuel. But they change their flavors every week, so there’s always something new to try! I don’t know what they put in their chocolate chip cookies to make them taste so good. Actually, it’s 50 grams of sugar and 20 grams of saturated fat. My advice: ignorance is bliss!
- Little Sky Bakery — Camille, Shannon and I all appreciated how their cookies, while still massive, somehow almost felt healthy. Look no further if you’re planning to feed a small village of health nuts!
- Panera — Annabelle and I are in agreement — their chocolate chip cookie was decent, but their Candy Cookie was inedible! I’m worried about ranking Panera last though. Dayne’s going to get me in my sleep with a Candy Cookie in hand.
See you next issue!
