You’re a muggle, Harry!


Cedric Chan

Draco Malfoy leans over a sign welcoming you to Hogwarts as you shift realities. Recently, people all over the internet have been claiming to shift realities, sharing their stories with the world.

I’m not like other girls — I’m different: an outcast and a mysterious loner, if you will. I just don’t fit in with the people around me and often feel stuck in my current reality. 

But recently, I’ve discovered an escape, a way to travel to my real home: shifting realities. It’s a complicated process, one that requires meticulous planning and execution. Most of the time I shift to my real home at Hogwarts, where I can be around the witches and wizards who understand me, unlike the boring muggles I go to school with. 

To control my shifting process, I usually script out the details of my spiritual journey by writing out where I want to shift (my desired reality), my surroundings and how much time will pass while I’m there. 

Then, I set up my environment so that it cultivates the spiritual energy necessary to shift realities. I turn my Daybetter 65.6ft Led Bedroom Color Changing 5050 Strip Lights with Remote Controller to Slytherin green (I’m an edgy Slytherin) and light some candles (not really because my mom said I couldn’t have fire in my room, so I just spray two ounces of my Bath and Body Works winter candy apple perfume), but tom-ay-to tom-ah-to.

I lie down in a starfish position, my phone on my chest playing the soothing sound of Draco Malfoy’s heartbeat as I count down from 100. Us Slytherin girls love the sound of his heartbeat — its cadence easily puts us in a deep sleep.

You’re probably reading this and thinking something along the lines of: “Codswallop, this is bloody insane” — and I agree. It’s absolutely absurd. So let me just be clear: I don’t care how Draco Malfoy smells, and this whole “shifting realities” thing weirds me out. I’m not crazy, so let’s snap back to reality, please. 

For the past few months, I’ve been seeing people all over the internet claiming to have shifted realities to different fictional realms, most shifting to Hogwarts pretending to be Dobby’s long-lost child or the byproduct of the love between Hagrid and Professor McGonagall. Yeah — just let that sink in. I don’t think I can watch another teen describe made-up detailed plots in which all the men in the Harry Potter books are in love with them. 

These shifting stories are ludicrous, and although they’re creepy, they don’t seem to scare away their avid followers, with many people in the comments expressing their desire for more in-depth parts of the story.

Now, I’m not denying that people may have seemingly real-life experiences with alternate realms; this concept is directly related to transliminality, a psychological scale by which human brains can go beyond their consciousness. The key thing is that this process is controlled by the mind — and has nothing to do with transporting out of the current reality. 

Plus, the idea of scripting (writing down all your desires and believing they’ll come true) is directly taken from Hindu culture, and many people claiming to shift realities are taking a sacred Hindu ideal and using it as a mechanism to get people to believe their make-believe, stalker-ish stories for a couple of hundred likes. This gives the impression to many young viewers that Hindu culture is shallow in a sense, and connote it only with fulfilling fictional fantasies which is disrespectful to the culture, its people and its sacred history. 

It’s great that people are rediscovering childhood treasures through the Harry Potter books, and being a Harry Potter fan myself, I’m not complaining. But while this shifting realities trend was funny at first, it’s getting concerning and uncomfortable because of all the over-the-top fantasies.

To all of the shifting reality believers out there: You haven’t actually taught Ron Weasley and Harry Potter to say “period sis” after every sentence, nor did you teach Professor Snape how to do the WAP dance. So pack up the make-believe stories and make a Wattpad account.