In the past few weeks, “Heated Rivalry,” which has a sort of *gestures vaguely* connotation, has taken over my brain. Suffice it to say, the show definitively lives up to both words in its name.
For those who are unaware, “Heated Rivalry” is a television series that follows the secret 10 year situ-gay-tionship between hockey players Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov. The show has skyrocketed in popularity, even earning a perfect 10 on IMDb.
Although unexpected, the majority of “Heated Rivalry’s” viewership and fan base is women. Those who have not watched the show would probably describe many of these women as fujoshi.
The word, fujoshi has traditionally been used in a derogatory sense to describe women who consume media about queer relationships — it quite literally means “rotten girl” in Japanese. In other words, fangirls, gay relationships and fangirling over gay relationships are not culturally accepted.
Contrary to popular belief, enjoying media about gay relationships is far deeper than superficial appeal. It isn’t as simple as seeing two attractive guys and liking the idea of them together.
“Heated Rivalry,” at its core, is a story of love, yearning and learning to be who you are in a world that tells you something is wrong with you. It’s a story about daring to love another and doing so on your own terms.
I want to experience the depth of love that Shane and Ilya feel for each other. I crave it, even.
There seems to be a sort of freedom in queer relationships that simply does not traditionally exist in straight ones. I long to experience such a relationship, removed from gender hierarchy and social pressure.
In “Heated Rivalry,” inherent social expectations don’t create the foundations for how Shane and Ilya express their love to each other. They alone determine their roles in the relationship.
For women, domestic roles like cooking and cleaning have been woven into America’s culture. Shane and Ilya’s relationship, on the other hand, exists entirely outside of stereotypical gender dynamics: Ilya makes Shane a tuna melt because he wants to and not because he is expected to.
They love each other in ways they choose, ways they discover. In a love that has grown quietly under the cover of darkness, Shane and Ilya serve up their hearts on silver platters.
Intentionally or not, women have traditionally been taught to soften the unsavory parts of themselves to be more palatable. Shane and Ilya’s love, which has been protected from the claws of misogyny, depicts what could be another reality.
Even for straight couples who are totally in love and would never consciously enforce misogyny, there is still a cultural standard that needs to be overcome. Although this doesn’t mean straight relationships are built on false connections, it means that they are often filtered. Perceived notions of who should provide and who should be more vulnerable foster an environment where people limit their expressions of love based on what they are taught is acceptable. In Shane and Ilya’s relationship, they are allowed to just love each other.
In contrast, Shane and Ilya begin with a mutual understanding that there are no such presumed roles. Their connection has not been shaped by centuries of societal expectations. They are equals in their relationship. In this day and age of Roe v. Wade and Andrew Tate, when the way women act is constantly being policed, this sense of emotional equality feels enlightening.
To put it simply, “Heated Rivalry” is intensely human.
It’s almost painful to witness Shane and Ilya’s relationship, built solely on a profound understanding of each other. It feels a little like grief and a lot like longing for a human connection I have never and likely will never experience.
One of the most iconic lyrics that has come to be associated with the show is from the song “I’ll Believe in Anything” by Wolf Parade:
Give me your eyes / I need sunshine.
People need to be seen. Everyone craves being understood on an intrinsic level. Amidst the vulnerability that comes with being known, there is the relief of freedom to be who you are and the security of being loved — just like Shane and Ilya love each other.
Everyone deserves to be seen. Everyone deserves sunshine.
