The student news site of Los Altos High School in Los Altos, California

The Talon

The student news site of Los Altos High School in Los Altos, California

The Talon

The student news site of Los Altos High School in Los Altos, California

The Talon

Super Bowl 2012: The War of the Coaches

The Super Bowl, featuring the Giants versus the Patriots, had more individual match-ups than one could possibly count: New England quarterback Tom Brady versus New York quarterback Eli Manning, Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz versus the Patriots secondary, Giants defensive lineman Jason Pierre-Paul versus the New England offensive line. But the most interesting and seemingly lopsided match-up was between the coaches: Tom Coughlin versus Bill Belichick.

Belichick, the evil genius in a hoodie, is considered to be one of the greatest coaching minds of his era, while Coughlin is the coach who barely escaped with his job halfway through the season until the Giants finally started winning some games.

But each coach seemed to have their own ups and downs of this game, and their hopes and fears resonated with every blow of the whistle.

You could see Belichick cringe for the first time when Brady dropped back near the 4 yard line for a pass. Brady saw pressure coming from defensive tackle Justin Tuck and knew he had to act quickly to avoid a safety. But, although he was not sacked, he was charged with intentional grounding inside the end zone. The result: a safety.

Story continues below advertisement

Throughout the entire game, Belichick had one huge factor working against him. Giants punter Steve Weatherford was pinning the Patriots within the 5 yard line on nearly every punt. Genius that he is, Belichick’s evil schemes only work when he is at the 20 yard line. Even a coach inspired by Satan, like Belichick, can’t engineer a drive starting from his own goal line.

By the end of the second quarter, Belichick was very close to storming off the field. So he buried his face in his hands, and let Brady get to work. By the time Belichick had looked up, Brady had thrown 10 passes and 10 completions for a total of 98 yards to score a go-ahead touchdown with around a dozen seconds left.

Coughlin had a different perspective on the game than Belichick. It seemed as if he was on his heels the entire time, trying to keep up with the hoodied menace that was his nemesis.

Unlike Belichick, however, Coughlin had multiple runningbacks who could do more than block for their quarterback. Most notable of those runningbacks was Brandon Jacobs, who, coming at 6 foot 4 inches and 265 pounds, is a human battering ram, and the gate he knocked down time and time again was the Patriots front seven, who had no chance to stop Jacobs.

The Giants defense gave Coughlin the necessary breathing room that kept him from getting claustrophobic. Pierre-Paul, the defensive tackle for the Giants, was making life for Brady a nightmare. He had multiple blocks and was giving continued pressure and hits on Brady. The announcers, namely Al Michaels, eventually agreed that “he is not a normal human being.”

Coughlin’s impotence was first noted at the beginning of the second half when Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was given one-one coverage against run-defending linebacker Chase Blackburn. Hernandez made a single quick move, leaving Blackburn in the dust and himself dancing in the end zone with a football in his hand.

While Belichick was doing his secretive evil laugh, Coughlin was scratching his head while every coach in the world was saying, “Who puts a big and slow linebacker on one of the premier tight ends in the league?” The answer to that question is an idiot–also known as Tom Coughlin.

But Coughlin is no normal idiot–he is a lucky idiot. Chase Blackburn was again assigned to cover an extremely agile receiver, but this time, the Giant’s defensive line pressured Brady and his deep throw over the head of Blackburn was delayed for just enough time to allow Blackburn to get in the lane of the throw and intercept the ball. That was the first and only turnover of the game.

Coughlin’s luck continued and so did Belichick’s woes, until the final score of the game revealed the Giants as the winner of Super Bowl XLVI, by a score of 21-17. Looks like Belichick will be going back to his evil laboratory, and Brady to his cologne commercials. Congratulations to Manning and the rest of the Giants for a great season, and congratulations to Coughlin for keeping his job.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

All The Talon Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *