The student news site of Los Altos High School in Los Altos, California

The Talon

The student news site of Los Altos High School in Los Altos, California

The Talon

The student news site of Los Altos High School in Los Altos, California

The Talon

Ellervate Your Game: Sippin’ Haterade

My by-line might say I’m Drew, but I’m really known as ‘raiderhater.’ To people on AIM I am ‘raiderhater,’ on Xbox Live my friends lose to ‘raiderhater,’ and even some creepy guys on sketch websites call me ‘raiderhater.’ And that is what I have truly become: an avid ‘hater’ of the Oakland Raiders.

The Raiders are truly a despicable team. There’s really no other way to put it. They’re run by a skeleton in a track suit and his draft luck is the equivalent of picking the right chili dog at 7-Eleven—no matter what he picks, he’s still getting diarrhea. As if it couldn’t get any worse, the team has had 7 straight seasons of at least 11 losses, and their future looks about as bright as the ‘Black Hole’ they nickname their medieval, biker-gang-looking fanbase after. Honestly, it’s not hard to hate the Raiders. I encourage you to try it.

And yet, across the Bay I have found solace in the glory of the Red and Gold. I’m a 49er faithful, at least until stud WR Darrius Heyward-Bey catches more balls than there are parts to his name.

But there’s no real reason for it; nothing literally connects me to the 49ers. I don’t bet on the team, I haven’t witnessed a superbowl, and even though I throw like him, I’m not Joe Montana. Still, once you become attached to a team, it evolves into something greater.

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It becomes an obsession. It’s a consistency in your life–the 49ers are always there. It’s every Sunday having something to care about, it’s your most intimate relationship until your first girlfriend. It determines the posters on your wall, the color of your wardrobe, and possibly what you name your first pet (in retrospect, ‘‘JJ Stokes’’ was both a terrible pick and a terrible name for a dog).

Regardless, the 49ers—or the Raiders, if that’s how you roll—don’t break up with you, they don’t ground you, and they certainly don’t try to disappoint you. Sure, they may leave you heartbroken (Raiders. 2002 Super Bowl. Ha!), but about six months later the team is back on its feet, ready to do it all over again–and so are you.

And all the same, it is your duty to hate the rival team. They become your punching bag, you, best diss, and the name of all your dog’s chew toys.

So if there’s one thing you should look forward to this season, it’s a little friendly rivalry. October 17 marks the date of the 49ers-Raiders game, and I think it’s upon every one of us to make a jab at one of our friends, rag on somebody’s jersey, or ask how Jamarcus Russell looked this offseason. It’s only part of being a ‘‘raiderhater.’’

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  • Becky Larsen | Oct 13, 2010 at 1:36 am

    I’m an “Every-Pro-Sport-hater”. Born and raised in San Diego, I’m not even a Chargers fan. Maybe the Sharks, but, no, not even them! I just don’t get it. What do people get out of being a “fan” of a sports team that rips you off for the cost of tickets, memorabilia, and for getting your picture taken with them? A FAT arse from sitting on the sofa or in the stands swilling over-priced alcoholic or sugar laden beverages and disgusting unimaginable chemically enhanced tube-shaped “meats” in a bun! Do you know them personally? Are they family members? I can understand relationships causing you to support a player or team, but these folk could give a poop about the common fan! Please explain this phenomenon to me!!