7. Soy Butter & Jelly Sandwich

Location: Cafeteria

Presentation: B+
Taste: D
Convenience: A-

Advertised as a nut-free alternative to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the soy butter sandwich is packaged in deceptively cheery plastic featuring smiling children and cute checkered patterning. But do not be deceived — if you make the mistake of eating this sandwich, you will not be smiling. The soy butter is more potting soil than peanut butter. I would honestly be impressed if anyone at all could stomach more than a few bites. At least they’re always in stock, probably since nobody wants them.