If someone asked me what I admire most about myself in freshman year, I wouldn’t have known. But I think I’ve found my answer now.
I used to avoid dreaming — afraid they’d stay just that — and shied from the unknown. But the more I embraced opportunities, the more I discovered: the world, others’ experiences, differing values, and ultimately, my own dreams. Day by day, those dreams began to evolve. I got into varsity volleyball, surpassing my JV hopes. I said “yes” to hosting senior share-out, despite my fear of public speaking. I formed connections with people I hope to keep for life.
Exploring meant trying things I initially resisted — applying for Talon editor (now one of my best decisions!) and delving into aspirations, such as environmentalism and the arts, which shape me today. I know what I want in life because I experienced and learned about myself.
I faced comparison, pressure, and people who crossed boundaries or mistook kindness for vulnerability. But those struggles taught me to see the world clearly, stand up for myself, and live for me. I learned to surround myself with people who respect me.
But each of these struggles taught me to see the world without rose-tinted glasses, to stand up for myself and my values, and live for me. I began to realize that disrespectful people do not value me, regardless of how “good” they seem otherwise. Recognizing this, I learned to surround myself with people who respect me; I’ve learned honesty from one, empathy from another, and self-love from someone else.
Most of all, I admire that I’m learning to value myself. For the last few years, I’m grateful to realize that others’ expectations do not have to be my own — after all, it is not their life I’m living. Building personal goals brings clarity to what I want in life. The more goals I set, the more I become someone I admire: ambitious, independent, and reflective.
I dare to imagine. I have a STEM side I adore, but my soul also exists in the arts. I want to be a philosopher and join a band and farm and create. Whenever I have time, you’ll find me singing and swaying my body to its desire, bathing myself in Mother Earth’s living artwork, and weaving pieces of my soul into poems, paintings, cookies, and letters. Discovery is beautiful — alone and with others. I’m comfortable with myself — in myself — and I love melting in my own butter.
Above all, I’m proud that I put myself first. I’m literally the first person that pops up when I click “Share” (yes, it’s possible). As someone who loves making people happy, prioritizing myself isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. “That’s not selfish. It’s self caring, self nurturing,” a grandma named Dee said. I can’t be there for my loved ones if I am not there for myself.
The road is not smooth — and it will never be. But what lasts won’t come easy. So what are you waiting for? Take a step, and you’ll soon find yourself discovering and dreaming and becoming!
Take care,
Kathleen (Faye)
