After Algebra II Honors in freshman year, I thought the world ended when I was 15. But my world ended again in Trigonometry/Math Analysis Honors in sophomore year, when I was 16; and yet again when I was 17, in AP Calculus AB. 

I’ve always hated math. Since elementary school, my passions lay in poetry and prose — but I cared more about being liked than any of these things; more than the tedium of matrices or the exhilaration of writing a high-fantasy short story. If being respected within my highly academically driven-friend group meant I had to skip an entire math grade, I was willing to do it. If it meant I had to give up my author dreams in replacement of something “practical,” I would do it. At some point, however, my decisions no longer came from craving belonging; I had built my own standards to be “above average.” 

It all came to a halt in AP Calculus AB, when I inevitably suffered the mental blowbacks from pursuing these difficult classes without the results that I wanted. I was falling behind in class; failing quizzes, tests and not completing my homework. Finally, I was forced to drop the class altogether. 

My greatest fear of failing to meet my own standards had officially come true — and it might just be the most liberating thing I’ve ever done in my life. 

At rock bottom, I let myself rediscover the pursuits that made me fulfilled and content. I began telling stories again, but this time, through journalism. I met people who seemed normal on the outside, yet had absolutely incredible tales to tell; ones that were more unexpected than my own fantastical stories.

In retrospect, what had seemed like a failure had actually been a new door, a separate pathway that doesn’t limit me to simply one narrative, one journey. 

I think it’s safe to say that the world didn’t end at 15. Nor 16, nor 17, for that matter; and certainly not 18. If there’s one thing to be learned about high school, it is to never deal in the absolutes. Don’t be so sure of what you want from the beginning, or who you think you are; and most of all, don’t be afraid of failure, because that’s the beauty of high school. 

So, try. Try and fail; it’s not the end of the world.